Saying sorry

In medicine people don’t say sorry enough.  Every month there is a new press report of some disaster where there has been a cover-up, a failure of communication, an attempt to move blame, a guilty silence accompanied by a shifting of feet.  It is stupid because it aggravates the situation and leaves those affected more distressed an angry than they would have been otherwise.  A quick and appropriate apology cools the situation as people respect honesty.  The most potent example I have of this is a patient whose sight was severely affected by a prescription change in my department which I (and the patient’s GP) failed to notice.  When the problem came to light she asked what she should do, and I not only apologised but told her to consult a lawyer.  Rather diffidently she asked that, if she did and there was a case, would I continue to see her.  This was trust based on honesty.  Although there was a bit of an argy-bargy over responsibility there was none over liability, and she eventually received a six-figure settlement.  And I continued to see her.

How different Hillsborough would have been if the police had not tried to cover their backs, but admitted their failings.  On an international basis the same rules should apply.  If a civilian airliner is by mistake brought down by a missile, and all aboard perish, and there is incontrovertible evidence of the perpetrator, then that perpetrator will only be despised if they try to dodge the blame, not least if they change their story all the time.  Likewise, if nerve gas is dropped on a civilian target, and there is indisputable evidence of who did it, and equally indisputable evidence of an attempt at a cover-up (with attempted changes of story to try and adjust to emerging facts) no-one could ever trust them again.  So why do they do it?  Holding up your hands may be very painful, but there then is an end to it instead of continuing recriminations which poison things indefinitely.

So, in fact, medicine mirrors the rest of society.  What a pity.

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